Making friends in college doesn’t have to be complicated
As a former college professor, I have seen students struggle to make friends.
Even when I was a college student myself, I remember feeling overwhelmed with my new surroundings.
Most college students start their academic journey right after high school. And most have had the same group of friends for years.
Then they’re thrown into a new town with new people.
Are you in the same predicament? And are worried you won’t find any long lasting friends?
Unless you are going to college with a lot of your high school buddies, you will need to branch out and meet new people because college isn’t like high school.
And remember, everyone is usually in the same predicament as you. Most new freshman don’t have friends yet either. So, everyone is ready to socialize and make new friends. You aren’t alone.
I am going to tell you ways to make friends in college, and answer some of the most common questions students have around making friends in college.
And even more importantly, how to make friends when you don’t want to go partying.
Guide to making friends in college
How can I socialize without drinking at college?
You might think that the only thing college students do while on campus is drink and party.
While some colleges have partying reputations, and the majority of the students partake in these activities, not every university is like that.
You won’t be the only one that doesn’t drink or who doesn’t care to bar crawl every weekend and sign up for beer pong tournaments.
If you aren’t into the party scene, you can make friends in a variety of ways, on and off campus, without succumbing to the party culture.
And if you are on a campus where most students party, you might consider your surroundings and transfer to another college if it isn’t right for you.
What’s the easiest way to make friends in college?
There are several unique ways to find friends in college. See my list of ways to find friends in college.
Join a student organization - Most colleges will have student organizations where you can get involved with people who have similar interests. And most, if not all of these events will not involve alcohol. So, check with your college and see what types of organizations they have available and join today.
Participate in an intramural sport - This is like a recreational league for college students. And you don’t need to have a lot of experience in the sport to play either. I’ve seen some leagues range from cornhole to soccer. There is something for everyone. Some colleges even have gaming sports too. If you don’t find one that you like, you could ask how to create a new league yourself.
Get into a fraternity or sorority - You might be thinking that all fraternities and sororities drink and party, but that’s not true. There are some organizations on college campuses that could be sober or dry organizations so if drinking isn’t for you, this might be an option. Check out the ones available on your campus to see if they align with your personality.
Get a campus job - There are usually student jobs available on campus. This allows you to stay on campus and work. You could make plenty of new friends depending on the job you take. Since you will likely work with other students, you’re bound to find some new friendships.
Go to an event on campus - Almost all colleges will host events on campus. Most of these events are focused on causes, recent events, or disciplines. Check the calendar and see what your campus is offering. Some even have free food for attendees. Go and check out the scene and meet some people.
Join a church - Maybe you don’t care to meet other college students and would rather expand your social circle in a church instead. That’s completely fine. There will be plenty of ways to participate in the church and meet new people.
Live on campus - If you live on campus, you are going to stay in student housing. You will inevitably see other students in the hallways, or at events in your dorm. There is usually a common area where people can play games and lounge. Finally, you’ll probably have a roommate and they can help you get to know people too.
Is it normal to not have friends in college?
I know that everyone is not going to feel comfortable making new friends, and you might even be completely okay doing this college thing on your own.
You could be an older college student and have plenty of friends and are just going to college to get an education and don’t care to socialize at all. That’s totally cool.
Or you might be an introvert and get emotionally exhausted by socializing. And think it’s not worth the effort.
It isn’t mandatory to make friends in college.
While I think friends could definitely make your college experience way more exciting and memorable, it surely isn’t for everyone.
And you will have more time than ever to focus on studying and making good grades.
Before you write off finding friends, ask yourself why you don’t want friends.
If you are avoiding making new friends because you are afraid, I want you to try and go outside of your comfort zone because I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised.
But if you are really happy with your current situation, there may be no need to branch out.
Remember, college is a short time in your life, and before you know it, you will be in a career and will make different friends anyway.
Sure, some people have lifelong friends from college, but most don’t and it’s just a temporary season in life.
Why can’t I make friends in college?
If you cannot make friends in college, it might be because you aren’t really trying.
If you go to class, go straight home, and stick to yourself, you probably won’t give yourself many opportunities to make friends.
But if you are joining clubs, talking to students in the hallways, and really trying to meet new people, and still can’t make friends, let’s talk some more.
You might not be looking in the right places.
Think about the things you are most interested in. You might want to find people with similar interests so that you can bond over the same likes.
You may also need to be vulnerable. Don’t be too guarded as some people might be turned off and don’t want to open up with you.
You don’t have to spill everything about yourself to your acquaintances right away, but be open enough to let people get to know you.
If you have social anxiety, you might want to seek some professional help to see if there are some therapeutic techniques to help support you.
Why don’t I have friends in college?
There are lots of reasons why you may not have friends in college. Most people are going to find friends because of similarities they share. Do you think you have a lot in common with your peers? Or do you have different interests? You want to find friends in places where you have similar likes and dislikes. This isn’t mandatory but it can sure make your friendship easier.
You may not have friends in college because you aren’t trying to make friends. Ask yourself if you have really put in any effort to really make friends. Do you talk to your classmates? Do you spend time in the student union? Did you join a student organization?
If you haven’t put yourself out there, it’s no surprise that you don’t have any friends in college. It is not too late to find friends in college, but you can’t expect people to come and find you.
I’m nervous about making friends in college
It’s totally normal to be anxious about making new friends in college.
You’re experiencing a lot of new things right now. You are probably living on your own for the first time, and navigating adulthood by yourself.
So, it’s natural to be a little worried about making new friends.
I think that’s a typical feeling most new college freshman feel as they embark on this new journey.
Don’t fret too much and know that with these tips, you will very likely make new friends.
Struggling to make friends in college
It can be completely normal to struggle making friends in college. There are a lot of reasons why people may not be able to make any friends in college. You may be a commuter. You may be an introvert. Or you may not have a lot in common with your classmates.
And that is entirely okay. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to make friends in college. College is a short time in your life and there are plenty of other places where you can make friends.
Once you are finished with college, you may not even stay friends with those people anyway. I can honestly say that as a college student myself, over 25 years ago, I am no longer friends with anyone that I met at college. We just went our separate ways and never remained in close contact.
I believe that we all go through seasons in our lives and as we change, so do our friends. So, while making friends in college can be a nice adventure, it doesn’t mean that these people will be lifelong friends either. So, if you don’t make any friends in college, I think that you will be just fine.
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