How to deal with being an introvert in college

About the author

Hi there. I am the prolific professor with 15 years of experience teaching online and in-person. I have a graduate degree. I have a passion for education. But I’ve also worked in the professional world (outside of education) too. Thanks for visiting.

Here are my 6 tips to surviving college as an introvert. Take the introvert quiz to learn more!

1.) Get a pair of headphones

2.) Get connected

3.) Be honest

4.) Say no

5.) Embrace it

6.) Leverage it

How to deal with being an introvert in college

In college, you might find yourself struggling because your friends are enjoying the night life, playing intramural sports, or joining a student organization, and you just don’t care about those things.

Or maybe you wonder how you’ll fit in, participate in class discussions, or even do a group project.

College can be a place that challenges introverts. But not to worry. It has been estimated that nearly half the population would identify as an introvert.

You are not alone.

And it doesn’t have to be a problem either. You can learn to embrace it and stop trying to change your personality. And instead learn how to cope and set realistic expectations for yourself and your college career.

I am going to help you understand what type of introvert you are, and give you ways to cope. And tell you how to deal with it during your college career and beyond.

What is an introvert?

Susan Cain, an author, explained that there is a distinct difference between someone who is shy and someone who is an introvert.

Being an introvert is more about a choice. You prefer more alone time, and social interactions may exhaust you. You lose energy from social interactions unlike an extrovert who seems to get more energy from those same interactions.

As an introvert, it’s not like you don’t enjoy social interaction, it’s just that you may prefer more down time or your social interactions might look different than someone who is an extrovert.

You might prefer smaller groups, individual conversations, and more alone time to reflect and recoup.

So don’t feel like you should consider yourself shy or unsocial, because that’s not what an introvert is at all. You just need to find ways to accept it and cope with it.

Make sure you understand if you are more of an introvert or shy first because the tips I share are more for introverts.  Although they could help people who are shy, that is an entirely different circumstance.

People who are shy are more concerned with how others are perceiving them and fear judgement.

While an introvert may also be shy, they really are two separate traits.

How to survive college as an introvert

Get a pair of headphones

Since you might not want to chat with people, you could use some headphones to look occupied.

Oftentimes people will leave you alone if you have headphones in so that they don’t bother you. It’s the perfect way to look busy. They don’t even have to be on. It just sends the message to other people that you’re busy.

Sshhh…. Don’t tell my neighbors, but I do this little trick on my walks so it looks like I can’t hear them or I am busy. If they talk to me, and I take out out my earbuds, they feel embarrassed that they bothered me and quickly end the conversation.

It’s not like you’re being rude, but sometimes we are just busy or want some alone time and this trick can work.

Get connected

Is there a group of other introverts that you could join? As an introvert, you may start feeling isolated. Connection can help build that bridge to socialization, but in smaller groups.

You don’t have to be the life of a party, but instead can join smaller groups and interact. Other introverts will understand your needs better than extroverts.

Can you create a student organization at your college for introverts? That would be neat if you were the first person to create this organization. You’d probably be surprised who you learned was an introvert too.

Here is an online community for introverts. Start learning about your personality and get some additional tools to go through life without feeling stressed about who you are.

Be honest

Tell people you are exhausted and need a break if you feel overwhelmed.

Stop trying to attend every party or socialize too frequently if you aren’t up for it. Just be honest and let everyone know what you are capable of.

Also, if you are sitting quietly, and looking for some space, just be honest with your friends and let them know you just want some alone time and assure them that nothing is wrong.

If you have a roommate who is chatty, just be honest and tell them about your preferences. They can better understand you and your needs and accommodate if they know.

Don’t please people (Say no)

Be you. If you don’t want to hang out after class, go to events, sign up for an intramural, don’t.

If you don’t want to spend hours talking to people, don’t. If you still have a healthy lifestyle, being alone shouldn’t be problematic.

Feel free to say no when you need to.

Introverts may find themselves giving into the pressure of socialization and feel like this is who they need to be. Stop worrying what other people think.

Be you. The world needs introverts.

Embrace it

Don’t feel like you need to be an extrovert.

This is who you are.

Accept it. And stop trying to change your personality because you think that’s what everyone else needs of you.

I would find myself apologizing for the kind of person I was, and trying to fit in by doing all the things other college students were doing, even though it didn’t make me happy.

Once I realized that this is just who I am, I quit trying so hard and am much happier now once I embraced being an introvert.

Leverage it

Hang out with extroverts. They can take the communication tasks for you.

And you can remain more silent, as you may prefer.

Also, meet with your professor one-on-one. Since you’re an introvert, you would likely prefer to have the conversations, but in a smaller setting. This way your professors can understand that you are competent but don’t display it within the classroom.

And use your personality trait to take the time to actively listen to others.

Key Takeaways

Being an introvert is very common. Some people are likely closet introverts pretending to be extroverts.

Don’t worry about changing your behavior to fit it.

Take the introvert quiz to determine what type of introvert you are and follow those recommendations on how to cope.

Attending a community college first, might give you smaller class sizes, fewer people, less crowded campuses, etc.

And remember, the world needs introverts. Just be you.

You got this.